im' tired of britney...

but i'm not tired of her because of her songs, her acting or even her hair cut. i'm tired of her because i'm tired of people who are ridiculing her. COME ON!

first of all, britney has been a 'star' since she was a child. she was in the mickey mouse club then a singer, then a pop-star, then... well, now.

where do we have responsibility for her breakdown? her parents? the media?

we all are captains of our own destiny, so-to-speak, but there is much outside influence on our lives. imagine hers: she's been told or advised what to do for so long. she's been a robot for the public forever, basically.

i say leave her alone. or, yet, reach out to her. help her and mold her into what she should be.

this piece-of-shit nation we live in so often does this to people. we build people up into what we think they should be or what we hope we could become yet never could and when they let us done, they're shit and thrown to the side for the sake of yet another victim.

fuck this way of life and the people who choose it.

take responsibility for your actions, even when it disintegrates another human.

it's amazing i sleep...

fasten your seat belts... even with my imagination, i couldn't make up this stuff.

my dream started with me being asleep - imagine that - in my room and being awakened by justin and friends downstairs. unimaginable, too, right? they're downstairs talking about how i sleep naked. landon is the only other person's voice i recognize before i hear them trying to get in the door.

they finally make it in and i see one of the other guys is frat boy boy that i can't remember his name. trick is, he's wearing a dress. landon is behind him and is in a leopard print leotard and a long blonde wig. justin is naked.

they all leave except justin who lays in my bed and talks to me about brennan, his boyfriend, who is getting on his nerves. we end up messing around a little bit but nothing too serious.

then... i'm in old-atlanta. i guess it's somewhere downtown because there are lots of buildings and a lot of activity with the locals shopping. i'm with and older lady but i think i'm just helping her; i don't believe i knew her.

regardless, she wants to go to this place that turns out to be like a farmers market or craft market. we begin to walk but she can't make it so we hop aboard a trolley, much like those in san francisco. it's nice, if even in a dream, to ride on a street car. it gave a feeling of stature and wealth.

we make it to the market and begin to shop, yet there wasn't much there. in fact, there was nothing there for me. i realized that the lady had been drinking alcohol, thus the reason she couldn't walk earlier. i then went to get her a coke, which costs fifty cent. (that's a lot for the time period we were in!) one lady told me to just get it for free since she realized it was for the lady who was intoxicated and might be sick.

well, well, well. this other fat bitch told me i couldn't get it. she probably wouldn't have noticed i was there but it was a weird fountain. the ice and coke came out of the same spigot. AND pepsi was in the same fountain... that was weird.

anyway, i, of course, argue with her when a black gentleman walks over and suggests to her that she calm down and let me have the drink for free. after all, i was in a very nice suit and top hat and looked as if i owned half the city.

with my smart mouth, i said to her that i was going to tell everyone i knew that a black man was nicer to me than a southern woman and people surely would never shop with her again. (of course, the black people in that period were meant to be seen and not heard, thus my comment.)

however, the man was furious and told me that was no way to talk to a woman. he brandished a hot piece of metal from his blacksmith shop and try to burn me with it. i held it with my hand and it burned. then, he put it between my neck and shoulder and i passed out.

when i woke up -- still in the dream -- i was putting wood over this freshly dug grave. i little black boy came up to me and asked it this was his daddy's grave. i was crying and couldn't answer but another little boy did. he told the child yes.

i began to sob even harder and fell to my knees dislodging some of the boards that apparently i'd placed over the grave. i guess i killed the guy after he burned me, i don't know.

as far as the woman, i'm not sure where she went...

justin's birthday and raven's encore performance!

have you ever been to the sweetwater brewery in midtown? they make 420, etc. it's awesome. plenty of eye-candy and the only place you can get drunk for $6. christine, michelle, justin, matt, wes, christina, and two randoms made a night of it friday... was fun.

we then made our way to cowtippers for what would turn out to be justin's birthday dinner. he didn't know it was his birthday and the server didn't know it wasn't. haha. was fun. we didn't get too obnoxious. i think we didn't.

it was at that time that christine withdrew from the activities of the night. apparently the forty-two half-glasses of blue at sweetwater filled her tiny tummy and made her a wee-bit intoxicated. haha. gotta love it.

the remainder of us, minus the randoms, went to smith's olde bar and burkharts where we were to see raven's encore performance. was worth every minute of it.

then wayne showed up, early and unexpected so we hung out. he's a photographer from tennessee i met through a model networking web site. he's a cool guy, a wonderful photogrpaher and is in town on business for a couple weeks.

then i went to bed. boo.

these damn dreams...

it's one o'clock. do you know what you dreamed last night?

it was another weird one for me. i was at my mom's visiting but slept in the trailer next door to her house. for some reason, there weren't any curtains on the windows and the door, although closed completely, was letting in air. when i went to investigate i realized that the whole door jam at the bottom was loose.

when i attempted to pull it back into place, unlocking the door in the process, the wind pulled the whole door and jam away from me, slowly like i was in space.

so... i walked over to my mom's. when i walked in the kitchen, there were two black teenage females in there, one with a microphone. at my every move, she asked me what i was doing there. i was describing how i'd like to design my mom a new kitchen. i pointed out - at least in my dream - that she had installed new countertops and painted the brick back-splash as if it were wood grain.

my mom - don't ask why - has two refrigerators in her kitchen (for real). i was trying to get something out of one when all this meat, which was just put in since it wasn't frozen, began to fall out of the freezer. there was chicken, pork, beef... all kind of shit. then there was this bag that looked like a valentines day gift with a huge turkey leg at one end with dressing in the middle and a lace bow at the end.

i arranged all that only to open the refrigerator door and have six packs of coke fall all over the place. i was doing a good job holding it in place and even catching some falling over my head and behind my back.

now if you can decipher that one, you're amazing.