storming... again

it’s storming outside, again. there’s something spectacular about a storm in the city. the already bright lights – building, street lights, businesses – are illuminated by the lightning, dangerous but beautiful in its own way. the thunder vibrates the windows like a gentle massage to the old, massive buildings.

the rain, sweet in smell, washes away the dirt and grime left behind by us careless humans. it’s wonderful.

i finally got my resume off. at one point, it’s almost embarassing to say to whom – or for what, really – but on the other hand i’m really excited.

it’s for mosquito magnet! ever heard of it? haha. i hadn’t either but an advertising agency out of rhode island, which is also where the company is located, I’ve learned, is seeking people for a new promotional campaign. according to the ad, applicants must send head shots and a resume. if nothing else, at least they have my picture: if no mosquito magnet, maybe they’ll have some other opportunities.

anyway, it’s a new promotional campaign where, to the best of my knowledge, i would travel the nation in a hummer promoting this new product. I’m not certain if it’s going to be to fairs and farm shows or to home improvement stores or what. but, it offers a generous wage, commission and meal stipends. we’ll see what happens. zzzzzzzzzz.

in other news... I’ll be heading back to work Sunday after having two weeks off. i was actually supposed to work last weekend, actually, but was in the bed for two days with a tooth ache. a terrible tooth ache.

jennifer and miss rhonda came to see me the other day! that was nice. we went to eat at eintstein’s after their having come by to see my new loft. jennifer said that the living room looked like a mexican restaurant in thomasville. thanks. first kassy said it looked like the crayola room. guess i did well. haha.

actually, to defend myself... it’s tennis-court green, antique red and saphron. kind of a tennis theme: the court, a clay court and the ball. once i get the awesome art piece on the wall, it will all come together.

my bedroom still is unfinished. all my stuff is in it but i have half a wall and the enormous column to paint and need to finish trimming out the last two walls. i haven’t even started on the bathroom and kitchen. those can wait.

bored

I am sitting here working on my web site, bored as hell. watching the contender. It reminds me that I need to go downstairs and pay for my gym dues... and better yet, go! Maybe I’ll do that this week while I’m off.

I am being so lazy with work. My tooth was hurting and my jaw swelled like a baseball so I didn’t do my home reserve days this weekend. I don’t really want to go back on the third, either. I’m over airtran but I am going to try to hold out. We’ll see.

Easter must have been a wash-out for everyone. I don’t know because I haven’t been outside all day. I have the shades open, though, and it’s been raining rather hard most of the afternoon.

I am sooooooo bored.

happy easter!

it’s easter. this is such a beautiful holiday. it is one of hope. Of reassurance. One that renews faith. I remember easter sunrise services. It was always cold.

we’d meet at the city cemetery, perched on the highest hill in town. The cold metal folding chairs. The electric keyboard powered by batteries. He arose, sang with promise. Then breakfast followed in the fellowship hall.

I’ll miss that this year, as I have the past few.

religion is so different now. Growing up, it meant being in church each time the doors opened. My grandmother, until she became ill, was there constantly. It won’t be the same, and I’m certain it isn’t for those who go now, when I return to that church in the middle of nowhere.

Faith, I believe, Is more important than religion. My mom was a methodist who hardly attended church. My dad’s family were baptist and were the heart of the church. They sang. Played piano. Went to nursing homes to spread the gospel to those who couldn’t go on their own. I’m somewhere in the middle.

I’m no missionary, but when I get the chance, I share my religion. I’m a christian. I believe god sent his son into this world, then gave him to the world ultimately saving each and every one of us who believe. It’s hard to sometimes, but that’s where faith comes in. I have that faith.

Undying faith.

I took that walk when I was a teenager. Compelled by a televangelist... weird, but still persuaded. After a late night talk with my pastor, the next day I asked to be saved and joined the church. I remember the feeling that day. It was wonderful.

if you don’t know the god I serve, ask me about him. I’ll be more than happy to share him.

God bless and happy easter!

sittin' inside, watchin' the rain

it’ raining cats and dogs outside. Sucks. Not much to do in the rain. Dance or sing, but I don’t feel like that. There is nothing on television, either. I need to go put air in my tires but who wants to do that, either?

I’m off for the next two weeks, basically. I have home reserve this weekend but probably won’t fly too much. They may call me to the airport to sit. That’s normally how it works. We’ll see.
Rylie is not flying with us after all. It will be kassy, some senior flight attendant and me. I hope that she’s fun, ‘cause if not, well... I hope so.

i have a line!

kassy, rylie and i finally are totally off reserve and have a line together! wait til the passengers find out what they have in store. oh no! haha...

most of my layovers are in fort lauderdale, boston and philly. there are a few northern cities but no more than four nights! how wonderful?

i'm in buffalo now. will be back here tomorrow, or should i say later today since it's 2:12 am. we went out for dinner tonight with the front-end crew and i crashed afterwards. now i'm up. i have to be up in a couple hours anyway so i'll probably just stay awake. i may take another nap, who knows?

oh! i took my first kick-boxing class the other day. there's a gym in the basement of my building. the class would be better titled kick-your-ass, make-you-sore-for-days class. man!

it was fun, but a lot of intense exercise. run. push-ups. crunches. more push-ups. more crunches, even more this time. hit the bag. kick it. it was nice! there were so many different faces on that bag. so many issues. great therapy.

i hung out with randy one day this week. the day before the last day i forgot. hah. i have no sense of days anymore. honestly. anyway, we ran some errands he needed to tend to at ga state, then ate at gordon beirsch. nice pizza, btw. i spanned my taste buds and went for a new, german beer. was tasty. mr. vaughn would be proud.

randy and danny are probably moving to san diego within a couple months. randy seems to believe that danny will be offered the position. randy has been wanting to move there. i'm just jealous i didn't wait to sign my lease so that i could have gone with them.

sorry for breaking our pact, randy. soon.

this month will be so much better for me at work. my attitude has already improved although i am still considering other options, one of which is temporary work in atlanta. i'm just sick of being away from my friends, etc.

randy made me realize that when he told me, "i almost gave up on you".

knife. cut. blood. death.

nothing made me feel worse lately. and rightfully so. i have neglected, because of my job and other controllable reasons, my friends and obligations. i can't handle that nor should i tolerate it. if i can't control this job, i have to take it's control over me away. and i will.

for now, i have to go iron my shirt. actually, use the iron to dry it.

mustard explodes on air planes, by the way. i took out my bottle of the yellow stuff for my sandwhich today... when i popped the top, a squirt four foot long and several ounces shot from the spout -- all over me and onto heather, all over the door and across the galley. it was a mess.

i didn't get to have but two bites before a woman puked in coach and we had to haz-mat that mess. talk about crazy.

and to end the trip... yeah, the jetway wouldn't work in buffalo so they had to push the plane back and unload with airstairs, the ones attached to a truck. fun.

happy birthday joshua!

just in from joshua's birthday celebration. he, rylie, jen, ivan and i went to brio for appetizers and drinks then headed over to blake's for more drinks. was fun!

joshua slept on the bathroom floor. for some reason, i guess nausuea, maybe, he stayed by the porcelain god all night.

i have so much to do and so little time to do it.

ugh

remembering my nannie

Mat

It’s not as much as I wish I could send, but spent wisely it will help feed a hungry stomach. Hunt the bargains and needs and forget about the wants and like-haves. After tags, taxes, utilities and monthly regulars wasn’t much left. But I want to share with you what’s left.

Hang on to the rising sun and never catch onto a falling star. You will reach your goals for sure. Just abide in Phillipians 4:13 and 4:19.

Just remember needs, not wants. Study and keep up good grades. With one mind and one accord, success is sure to come.

Love you,
Nannie

P.S. Try the flower shops. I’m sure they must have some there. Learn to arrange flowers; you already know how to deliver. Just plead your cause.

That was a letter I got from my grandmother at some point during college. I just ran across it as I was organizing my room.

She was awesome! (She passed away shortly before Christmas.) I’m listening to one of her favorite songs: God on the Mountain. It talks about how God’s always God. On the mountain. In the valley, when the song says faith is really put to the test. He’s still God. When things go wrong, He’ll make them right.

Boy does He have His work cut out for him.

I’ve got much done today although I slept the whole day. Al brought me home so I didn’t have to ride MARTA. Leslee ended up not coming with her dad to the airport so I came home rather than waiting there.

Flags are at half-mass across the city. I haven’t been out anywhere but the city just looks like it’s crying from the chaos that happened this weekend. It’s always sad to see flags lower than at the pinnacle, where they should be.

I can’t get over the quote my grandmother wrote in that letter. It’s so beautiful. Hang onto the rising sun, not a falling star. I’m evaluating the falling stars, Nannie. They’ll be gone soon. And, I’ll be back in school.

I need to go.

about to head to bed in the big easy

the big easy was a little slow tonight. yet, i had fun, as usual. patrick and i went to the pub and oz. i was dancing when what out of my wondering eyes did appear? nothing other than mr. carey, boss to the the best booty bouncers in atlanta. seems he's here for a conference. brent was in tampa the other night. do i have stalkers?

new orleans is so fun. inexpensive alcohol. fun bars. but at the same time, i wouldn't want to live here.

first, it's a dirty city. at least what i've seen of it. and it always has that tourist feel to it. there's nothing homey about it. even those few that are from there don't have cliques or groups. it's just random drunk people.

i digress.

i'm ready to be home. i just want to let my bed consume me and stay there til i'm in a better mood. between debt and deciding what to do about work, i'm mentally drained. it seems a partner would be a help but at the same moment it's a burden on those i meet. i feel like when i try to tell someone who i am, it's all this dramatic shit that everyone else has under control.

i digress, again.

i've had sort of an epiphany, though. it's march but i have a few resolutions.

in order to date, my life must be in order. to accomplish that, i'm making a few commitments. and i'm putting them here so all can see and know whether i'm being the person i want to be.

i must get back into the gym. i must begin to eat, and eat better. it's too often that i skip meals. not on purpose but just because my mind wanders so much. i will save money. no more than five drinks on nights i go out, preferably three.

i have to finish painting my loft. i need to make a budget -- and stick to it. my credit report must have my attention. i need to take time for my friends. that's the most important. there are three who called today, all of which i avoided. no harm for them... just not in the mood to talk. i should never be like that.

i guess what's going on is that i'm well aware of who i am and how good that person is. i don't want to sound conceited, but i am a bit. moreso, though, i am confident. i've been on the mountain top before. i know what it takes and i'm not doing it.

in the words of my step-father... god-forbid i give him credit for anything... i need to stop trying to get everyone to feel sorry for me. i don't try. i expect them to. i expect them to know what i've been through and what a struggle i face. i expect some sympathy. i really do. it's selfish, and i am.

wow... i feel good but feel bad. i need to go to the doctor. eyes. ears. teeth. i want to rest. just go to the park. hang out.

my time off is still work. my life is like a small business and it's as if i'm out of the office five days a week and have to do all my catch-up on the weekends. my friends are like my children whom i neglect. my emotions are on a roller coaster. minute by minute.

i have this weird sixth sense. don't laugh because i really believe it. you know how when you're around people, if they're sad, you become. or if they're upbeat, you are.

well, i'm that way with peoples emotions. i really feel a supernatural, almost, connection with peoples emotions. i have always lived my life for others, as i was reared. i put other peoples emotions first, almost always.

i need to start standing up for myself. i'll fight in a minute if i have to. i will punch you in your face. you'll heal. but i'll hold my tongue for years if i risk breaking your heart. i believe that's admirable and one of my best qualities. but it's become a cancer. it's become my worst fear.

when... not if... i press post on this, i will be so proud of myself. i need to get this out. i have wonderful friends i could talk to. but i have to be strong. or i feel that way. and i don't like people to see me be weak. i write. it's my release. it's here.

i have to stick to it. i don't need a father. mother. nor a guardian. friends who encourage me to do better. remind me, not sarcastically, that i have goals. how am i doing? tell me, i'm going to help in this way. don't ask me. i don't know how to help my self sometimes and others i have every answer i need, regardless of whether i follow.

i'm working on a better mathew. i have goals. and to get there, i have to be here. in the present. physically and emotionally healthy. i begin now.

in n'awlins

dayton wasn't so bad after all. al, the two pilots and myself had beer and burgers in the lounge. then i went to sleep watching the snow fall. it was so peaceful. reminded me of being a kid looking at a fake snow machine in the mall. being from extreme south georgia, it still amazes me to see snow falling.

i'm in new orleans now. they cancelled our dayton turn from atlanta so we just sat in the crew room for three hours waiting on our flight here. i'm about to head down to the quarters for a t-dance. gotta love n'awlins. you drink draft with drag queens free from five to eight or something like that. it helps since i'm down to less than $40.

speaking of money... i just figured out several things. halo charged me twice the other night. aol has charged me for two months of service i didn't want. and! airtran did not include all my hours on my pay check. all-in-all, i should have about $500 right now.

not that i'd have it. bills would consume it like a damn pirahnna. nonetheless.

hmmm. i'm so damn hungry. i could eat a kite. it wouldn't fill me up, though. and i may choke on the string. better think of something else.

i was productive today and got my announcements all typed out so i can venture to kinko's on my day's off to get them copied, laminated and bound. several flight attendants have expressed interest in buying a copy of their own. cha-ching! side money.

joshua's birthday is this week. he's gonna be 31. nah. something old like that, though. late twenties or something. anyway, we may go out tuesday or wednesday. if you're up for it, call me. and call him. it's his birthday. tell him happy.

i'm gettin' silly so i'm gettin' off. not that way. unfortunately.

yucky day

I’m on my last leg to dayton. I’ve spent all day on the plane with the exception of a few minutes to inhale a cigarette. We’ve been delayed all day. My shirt sleeves are dirty. I’m tired. The ride is bumpy. Life is good.

Oh... wendell told me they captured the courtroom idiot. Not before, though, he shot another man, which coincidentally turned out to be a us customs agent and stealing his way into some woman’s apartment in gwinnett county. Weirdly enough, he surrendered peacefully. I haven’t been on the ground to see the news reports for the exacts. But, then again, if you’re getting news from here...

Al and I are going to have a beer when we get in. After that, I’m sure the bed has my name on it. I am so exhausted. I have an early day tomorrow, then get to be lazy in the big easy for a day.

if things don’t improve – in more ways than one – I’m going to be looking for a new job. I sware. I’ve said it over and over. I hung in there through probation. I made it. Now I’m on a line. But it’s so damn hard being away from town, friends, the ability to date, etc... it gets downright depressing sometimes.

We’ll see.

starting the day with a delay

I’m on the plane from tampa, headed to baltimore. We’re supposed to land in five minutes but some crack head ran over the fuel line at tampa delaying us thirty-five or forty minutes. Great way to start a long day.

I had three chicken wings, left over from last night, for my breakfast. Al had a canned chicken burrito with hot sauce. I didn’t see kaye eat anything. That woman can talk and talk and talk and...

I think I need to go to the doctor. I hate doctors. Not really them, just the hassle of going. You have to make the appointment, normally at their convenience, not yours. Then you have to go.
This ailment... I love that word... I have isn’t breaking away and it causes me to have a headache every day.

I think it’s a too-mah. Nah. I really don’t but I do have a headache every damn day. I’ve taken enough excedrin, aspirin, tylenol, ibuprofen, and the likes to kill a small animal. Hell, an elephant. And I even hate taking medicine.

the weather is supposed to be cold in dayton tonight. Twenty-five. Snow. Mathew brought no jacket. Oh well. There’s heat in the hotel. I don’t plan on leaving.

Tomorrow is a different story. Eighteen hours in n’awlins. I may go gambling. At least go into the french quarters. Some good, spicy shrimp creole sounds mighty good.

Let me walk through the cabin once or twice. More later.

can't sleep, again.

i'm in tampa. had to order pizza and wings to eat. nothing else was open. i was in the mood for chinese. maybe tomorrow.

the news of the courthouse shooting is all over the networks and cable news channels. it's so weird. it's happening in my back yard yet i'm in another state. maybe that is a good thing.

one of the reporters was just live beside my building. i live in midtown adjacent to city hall east, which also serves as atlanta police headquarters. nothing was going on there except for the fact that is where reporters are staked out to get updates. i didn't realize it moving in but it makes me feel a bit safer knowing all those police are right beyond my window. not that i feel unsafe. or ever have.

hmmm. these families are going through hell, i'm sure. death is always painful but when it comes so abruptly and in such a ridiculous way, it has to be traumatic at its worst.

i used to live a few blocks from the courthouse and go to underground often, at least twice a month.

eerie... they just showed camera footage of the suspect walking down a stairwell where he carjacked the newspaper reporter. (i park in that same lot when i go to underground) he's just casually walking as if nothing has happened. weird.

this is weird. interesting.

scary!

have you seen the shit that happened in atlanta today? i'm still watching msnbc and gathering the facts. but here is what i know. this idiot who was charged with rape was escorted into the fulton county courthouse this morning when he overpowered deputies, then took their gun, killed a deputy, court reporter and a judge.

now, he's on the loose.

i was just in that courthouse, went through the same metal detector that found shanks in his socks, about a week ago. i was in jury duty. eerie.

i'm in tampa. joe was supposed to call but i cannot get in touch with him. i'm getting hungry. there's a mcdonald's in the mall across the street. i may go have a fat burger. mmm.

i'm finally beginning to feel better. still coughing. but feel much better. i will end up in dayton tomorrow night though, which means being in cold weather again. not too good for this ailment of mine.

i got some pics to post to the web site. i need to work on that. but not before i eat.

no more hair for me

have I mentioned that I’ve yet to receive my income tax check? I haven’t. I’m pissed, too. I had big plans for that grand, namely catching up my car payment.

Oh well.

I’ve just showered. I had to wash the hair off my body. After having done my hair a million and two times, I grew tired of it and shaved it all off. I do that from time-to-time. In a short mood. In a long mood. Whatever.

I’m not looking forward to this week. I have two three-day trips, back-to-back. That means that I’ll be flying for six days straight with about twelve hours off in the middle. Hardly enough time to do anything and damn sure not enough time to wind down. Basically come home, shower, re-pack, sleep and head back to hartsfield.

We’re going to spaghetti factory tonight to eat. It’s been way too long since we’ve been there. They have awesome lasagna, though, and very tasty cheese sticks. Not to mention the wine.
Mmmm.

I’m tired.

lazy days

the clock says it’s almost two. I don’t believe it. I think that it is more like eight pm. Ugh. I love time off but I have so much to catch up on when I’m in town. This job is not like one where you can run to the bank on your lunch break... or to the grocery store on the way home. Hell, half the time I’m a time zone away from here.

I don’t have a lot to do. Just little things. I need to finish trimming out my bedroom. But that means I have to borrow a ladder from chris, which means calling, then driving over there then hauling it up the elevator then actually climbing upon it and using it. Gather I’m lazy?

I wouldn’t describe myself as lazy. I just have to be in the mood. Like when I moved in, I was in the mood. I painted a column and three walls all by myself. I was in the mood. So, if you see my loft in it’s unfinished glory, you can say I wasn’t in the mood.

I think I’m about to run to kroger and get something for this ear infection turned cold turned hell.

One day I’ll be well.

sick as a dog

I didn’t stay up all night. Rather, I watched a movie (proof) then went to sleep. I woke up and wandered into the living room around four. My body ached all over.

After a large bowl of peaches and cream oat meal, I went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until about seven or so.

Now, it’s almost two and I can’t sleep. Go figure. I have another bowl of oatmeal. It’s cooling. I plan to eat it as I watch another movie and hopefully fall asleep.

I have a long day at work tomorrow. A bloomington turn, then a flint turn. But, I’ll be back in atlanta in my own bed tomorrow night.

If I haven’t called... I apologize. I haven’t felt like holding my head up, much less like talking on the phone. I’ve got your messages if you have called me. I’ll return them soon.

The windows are open so I can hear the rain outside. It’s calming and cool. The smell is nice, too. Once in a while, there is a siren but it’s not the sound of calamity. I like the sound. It reminds me I’m in the city. Alive. I hear cars driving on the wet roads. Trains in the distance. An airplane from time-to-time. I love the city.

Let me watch my movie. I need to be asleep.

do not fly with sinus/ear infection... ever!

ugh. If you ever suffer from sinuses, do not – I repeat – do not get on a plane.

I woke up in dallas all stuffy and feeling as if I were in the middle of a before sudafed commercial. It didn’t get much better throughout the day so I bought some medicine at the airport before we boarded to head to atlanta.

Shortly after begninning service, my head began to pound and it felt as if someone were stabbing me in the ear with a dull knife. Then at decent, oh my god. I would have rather been walking on glass. I found myself locked in the lav jumping up and down like a kid with tears running down my cheeks. I honestly thought at one point my ear drum had ruptured.

There was no way I was going on to d.c. from atlanta. I called out sick.

at home, I slept... and slept... and slept. Probably from the tylenol sinus and excedrin but I slept almost twenty hours straight. I still have a slight headache but my ear drum is, to the best of my knowledge, still in tact although hearing from it was limited last night.

Remember, kids, don’t fly with sinus trouble.

Also, don’t let your damn cat out of the bag on a plane, either. Cat in the literal sense as in feline, house pet, etc. people travel and bring their pets with them. Fluffy is tired of being in the bag and many want to take them out on the plane. Well, guess what? People (like me) are allergic to them and many (like a woman on the plane last night) are terrified of them.

While doing service, shortly before the big buzzing ear problem, a felt something brush against my leg. I looked down, in the dark, to see nothing. My pretzel bag had shifted, I assumed.
then I thought about the cat lady. She had already asked me if she could move to a row alone so they’d be more comfortable. Yeah. She had two. In matching bags, no less. To that I said o.k. but told her she must keep them in the bag when she asked if she could take them out.

Well, the cat lady was reading a magazine so I didn’t think her cat was out of the bag. After all, I had just taken an arsenal of medicine to get rid of my throbbing sinus headache. I could be imagining things, right?

No, because shortly after, maggie felt the same thing. The cat. I knew it. Then passengers saw it. Meanwhile, it’s dark in the cabin besides the few sparse reading lights a select group of passengers used to read.

Maggie is now chasing the cat as it brushes up against – and startles – passengers. Who’d ever think about a cat being on board?

Still, the cat lady is in her on stupor reading her magazine, probably cat weekly, while the plane is amuck. Maggie corners the kitty and we have to go all the way to the back – where the woman and her cat are sitting alone – to return the freed feline.

The cat must have unzipped the bag itself, the catlady said. Sure. Call david letterman. He has a spot on his shot for that pussy.

Second lesson tonight, don’t let the cat out of the bag. Especially on a plane.

• While I’m ranting... other things not to do on planes:
  don’t shit in the toilet without making sure it all flushes. There is not water in the toilets, for obvious reasons. But, with a flush or two, the water will flush it all out. Be courteous, why don’t you?
• speaking of shit, don’t change your babies diaper in the seat. Especially in business class. They’re baby changing tables in the bathroom. Use those. Spare us.
  don’t complain because we don’t take cash. Who cares if other airlines do? We don’t and you’re not flying the others. You chose us now deal with our policies. Credit or debit card or no alcohol. Complain to someone else.
• don’t call me a steward/stewardess. I am your flight attendant. Or mathew. Either is acceptable. The first two are not.
• if someone on your row asks for something and you want something as well, ask when they ask. Don’t let me go get them something then you ask when I get back. I don’t mind, really, it’s just annoying as hell. And we will talk about you. I promise.
• don’t ask me where we are. I have no clue. We’re in a plane above someplace between where you got on and where you’ll get off. When I look out the window, I see the same little pretty town with green trees and ponds and even cars. Oh, and houses on perfectly aligned streets. Could be sale city for all I know.
  

If I think of anything else, which I’m sure I will, I’ll let you know. For now, though, start with those.

I’m wide awake following my stint of sleep... I think I’ll watch a movie. Maybe I’ll stay up all night. I have a lot to do tomorrow.

Later.

dallas sucks...

hotel rooms are all the same. no matter how large they are, they all feel the same when you're in them alone.

have you ever seen the a&e reality show 'family plots'. it is set in a funeral home, i think in california. it's weird, not because of death, but because it follows the drama of the workers. they're burrying a recluse now who had no friends. it's sad yet not. can you tell how bored i am.

the denny's sign takes up most of my view from the fourth floor. the rest is taken up bu a jammed interstate. poor drivers.

ugh. i'm hungry but i don't want to get up and go get anything to eat. isn't that just the laziest damn thing in the world? OH! i have cookies in my bag. i'll eat those.

there goes an airplane... too bad i have to wait three more hours for mine.

i'll be in d.c. tonight. back in atlanta on sunday.

most embarassing moment, EVER

alright. so picture it. flight attendant walking down the aisle. every one is seated. we've just ascended above ten thousand feet, which is when we begin service.

we wear aprons but because i hate mine, i usually leave it in my bag. but, this trip, i had a supervisor on board so i decided maybe it'd be smart to grab it.

i always leave it on top so that i can grab it with ease should the need arise.

only this time, i was getting the apron out and noticed from the corner of my eye that something had fallen out. i assumed it was an old credit card receipt or something.

i asked the elderly lady sitting below if anything fell out.

ha.

she covered the item with her hand and discretely handed me... a damn condom!!!

i was mortified. even telling the story later to another flight attendant, i turned just as red as i'm sure i was when she handed it to me.

i just had to walk away, condom in hand.

and, of course, it just so happened that i had to serve her row, asking if she wanted something to drink, pretzels.

she didn't.

being the nice grandmother i'm sure she is, she did ask for some pretzels in case the girl beside her who was asleep woke up.

shame.

i'm in dallas. about to crash. good night.

west palm sucks

It’s raining in West Palm Beach. Has been since we landed just before eleven. The trip to the hotel lasts at least twenty-five minute. Then, there’s nothing open around it, including restaurants.

I sit here in this stinking, yet non-smoking, room eating a honey bun, cookies and drinking a sprite. Not much else. No internet in the rooms so I sat for an hour and a half in the business center just checking and returning emails. I have one hundred, nineteen.

I leave here just after noon tomorrow and get to dallas about midnight or shortly before. Maybe then I can get all this online. Who knows?

If anyone has money, I can email you my address.

By the way, hey shaun. Go to sleep already.

That’s all for now. Going to sleep.

off reserve, finally!

It’s 2:18pm and I’m waiting at the airport for my trip... I’m finally off reserve!!! Had I not buddy bid with kassy, I would have gotten a hard line yet I got a build-up. They’re basically the same except for the fact that on a build-up you get what everyone else drops or otherwise didn’t want.

I’m not complaining, though, because, one, most of my layovers are in florida or somewhere in the south. Two, I don’t have to worry about being called to the airport for a two hour report. I know my schedule for the whole month.

Did I mention my pay also increased by two bucks, too? Yeah, it did.

I’ll be in west palm tonight, which is where I’ll finally post all these journal entries since I’ve been moving. I haven’t had a layover to use the internet at the hotel and have yet to have it connected in my loft, so... I also have to respond to the more than one hundred emails I have in my inbox, too. Whew.

The loft is so awesome! I don’t have all the walls painted quite yet. Most are painted, just in need of trimming. Kassy called the dining/living room the rainbow room. Not sure why, since they’re only two colors in there. There’ll be three, four if you count the two shades of green. Oh well, I like it.

She did, however, love my bedroom. Most people do. : ) haha. I have various shades of brown in there, to match my bedroom suite, which is mocha. I think I like it best, too, although my living room is nice.

We brain stormed for art, too, and decided that a flaming tennis ball I drew a while back will be enlarged – very large – and on several pieces of canvas. Some wide, some thin and spaced slightly apart at various heights on the main wall. I think it’s going to look awesome, especially since my walls are tennis court green. Pictures later. It’ll make sense, then. Sorry, though, I don’t take outside clients. I won’t help you paint. I’m tired of it – my walls are twelve feet tall.

It’s amazing who and what you see at the airport. Especially when people don’t realize you’re watching. I’m really not now since I am typing... but I catch of glance of everything ever once in a while.

Hmm... I’m trying to think of what else has gone on in my life lately. I cleaned the loft yesterday and finally unpacked most of my things. I have to go through my clothes to see what I can do without. I have too much shit. Something like a hundred t-shirts, half of which I never wear.

I just finished the king of torts, one of my favorite author john grisham’s latest books. It, like all the rest, was awesome although I thought the ending could have been a little better, maybe not as abrupt. This book was very clever in the way in which in entwined love, law and scandal. Definitely recommended!

I’m listening to josh groban as I type... it’s amazing to me the voice he has. When god was giving out talent, sometimes I believe he overlooked me. I can’t sing. Can’t play an instrument. Not athletically talented. I can talk, though. I love to be around people and make friends. That’s about my only talent, I think. Just no medals for all that. (Totally random, I know)

Five minutes until boarding. Must go now.