have to share this...

i just read this quote:

"no man is the whole of himself. his friends are the rest of him."

this couldn't be more true. you know who you are.

happy new year.

one t

this is going to be random...

and brought to you by the letter w, as in washing machine. as in every fucking one on this ship seems to be in disrepair. i've bought new underwear and socks because it's so hard to find a machine that works.

o.k., maybe i bought the underwear because i have a fetish. sue me.

nonetheless, i have three loads of laundry to wash and it took me almost an hour to find a laundrette that has more than one washer in good repair. each room has two or three washers as well as dryers... however, some of the doors are off or one may not have a spin cycle... it's crazy. all these hoodlums on the ship tear shit up like it's theirs and they're the only ones without.

guess what? they're not. and i'm mad!

anyway... i have to kill forty-five minutes while the load washes then i'll be back to pass time while they dry.

i guess i'm going back to work tomorrow. my boss saw me tonight and told me to come back when i felt like it. oh really? well, let's say next week sometime. i get paid eight hours regardless...

actually, i'll probably still have to be awake when i have to go up to ocean drive. friday is one of my favorite days because we're out at sea all day, thus being busy.

oh! i found out earlier that i have the most bar mentions again for last weeks cruise, which means another free shore excursion! go me. i have to decide what i'm going to do. it'll certainly be something fun. maybe snorkeling. four wheeling. something fun.

and i found out i'll be in mardi gras, which is the actual night club on the ship and probably the best place to make money. let's hope so. i can use it, especially with the dental bill i'm sure will come all-too-quickly.

hmmm... wendell called earlier and said he and yonnathan went to burkhart's tonight. made me wish i was there. if you thought i was a bar fly before, wait until i get home. there is no place in hawaii that i've found compares to anything in atlanta.

in fact, most of the bars here (at least the ones close to port) seem more like waycross or sale city: full of white trash. bar fights. big trucks missing only the rebel flag. fat, ugly women wearing clothes way-too-tight and men who love 'em. ugh.

on to better things, though. with my being in mardi gras, i won't be working until around eight at night so you know what that means -- i'll be hitting the beach every day! i'll be tan and a surfing pro before you know it.

you know that i've been gone since halloween? more than two months. just under four to go. weird.

anderson cooper is hosting new years on cnn again. i can't believe how big he's gotten. good for him, though. i need to find his card and e-mail/call him.

i told you this would be random. you're the fool who is still reading.

on that note, haha. aloha.

tom graduated...

i got a message from tom, actually two. he graduated tonight but did not have his mmd card so he is stuck in piney point for at least another week. also got a text message.

then i got a picture message from two fuckers in atlanta eating breakfast with a fat-ass santa in the backgoround. i don't know who they were but i'm certain they had been out drinking before the picture was taken. if you see either of them, tell them to fuck-off. i've been in bed all day. the past two days. no one is allowed to have fun when i'm not.

feelin' better... lookin' like shit.

why is it that when you feel bad, you don't care what you look like? or is it just me?

i'm wearing a tee shirt, gym pants and a beanie. i haven't shaven in three days. i barely brushed my teeth (they hurt).

oh well.

if you sent me an e-mail recently, resend it. recent meaning in the past three days. there was a glitch with my web site, which has been repaired. i need to get a laptop so i can reload it and update it...

going back to the doctor. i have a dentist appointment next week.

later.

my tooth hurts and i can't sleep!

my tooth does hurt but it's probably because i've been asleep all day that i can't sleep. i woke up this morning around four a.m. to a terribly swolen face and a pain that was immeasurable. i tossed and turned until i finally drifted off, i assume, around eight only to be awakened by justin at nine-fifteen for our bar meeting.

ugh.

i sat through that, which was extremely boring. the only bit that was necessary was the warning of working the whole day of new years eve. and that i won a shore excursion. that was it. i could have slept longer.

the assistant bar manager lead me to the doctor... i was in the process of filling out an emergency leave to come home. but, since the company pays for dentists here, they don't consider this an emergency (per se) and will pay for me to go to a dentist in maui. meanwhile, i'm on painkillers, which could be more powerful, and antibiotics until then. i didn't work today and hope not to tomorrow. i feel like shit.

in other news... i've been taking vitamins again as well as drinking protein shakes. i've lost some weight from all this walking and climbing stairs. of course, i can't afford that. brian and i are going to start going to the gym together, too. maybe i'll make it close to my target weight before i get home.

i thought about new years resolutions, too. with this 'health kick,' i thought it'd be a good time to quit smoking. who knows, though? i've said it before. we'll see.

tom should graduate today. i have no clue since i haven't heard from him. i did answer a call the other day when i was out on shore shopping. i didn't have much time to talk, though. everything is going well for him except he said he is still spilling drinks. he told me he'd text me when he found out what ship he was going to...

hmmm... nothing really exciting going on right now. the weather has actually been kinda yucky lately, meaning only about seventy degrees and cloudy. if i feel better tomorrow, i'm going to lay out. i don't have to work until five. or is it five thirty? nevertheless... oh, and i have to go by a restaurant that charged my credit card twice.

i'm still not sleepy.

merry christmas, y'all

the last time i cried while typing was in 2002. something bad happened to me and i just couldn't take it. thankfully, i had two friends - grant and james - who were there for me.

this time, it's different. the tears are not of embarassment. they're not of shame. they're of missing the hell out of my friends. the tears are realizing just how important my 'family' is to me.

it's christmas and it's not even cold. it doesn't seem real. one person i work with said she felt like a fool, like someone running around in july screaming merry christmas.

however, the web of friends i've made is a cocoon for me. they've wrapped me in their arms and thoughts and well-wishes. the connection here is unreal. the comradarie is amazing.

it doesn't keep me from thinking about things back home, though. it doesn't make me miss going to my nannies, who i lost a year ago. grannie croft and mr. adwon and their cute late-in-age marriage and romance. gifts. cool weather.

it doesn't make me realize that i can't send everyone a gift. but it doesn't keep me from sending a prayer.

this journey has been amazing and i'm sure it'll only get better as time passes and april sneaks up on us. but tonight is going to be different.

i'll go to bed alone... only my 'family' on the ship. i'll wake up without santa but have every card and gift i've received in my mind.

it is my hope that each and every one of you wake up with the one you love. it is my charge that i tell you to share your love with each and every person around you. i dare you to tell them how much you love them. double-dare you to show it.

it is my hope that my family, with whatever thoughts and activities they have, is happy. it is my hope that they're content.

i hope that my nannie is still looking down upon me and approving of my (almost) every move.

it is my hope that for that one person who deserted his family will come home. that he realizes what a mistake he has made.

it is my hope that we can be together. at least tolerable.

it is my hope that each of you know how much i love, adore and care for you.

merry christmas, y'all.

aloha.
one t

it's christmastime in the city...

yet it's 80 degrees. bah humbug. maybe it'll be windy so it'll at least be cool tonight. i hate cold weather but a bit would be nice to remind me of christmas.

so, i got some gifts today. thanks wendell and yonnathan. i'm sure more are on there way... ; )

i went to the mall today to do some last minute christmas shopping. actually, it was christmas shopping at the last minute. i managed to buy one thing before i was sucked into a vortex and spent $100 on myself. i hate when that happens.

so, if you don't have anything yet, i either have it or haven't bought it. haha.

i miss all of you... wish you were here... or i was there (but just for christmas... it's too cold there right now.).

may God bless each and every one of you and may you get all you wished for.

i love you.
one t

i have to mail christmas gifts...

if i don't have your address, you have to wait til april. that's it.

ha. actually, for those of you who i've bought for, i have your address. but, i still need some. get 'em to me.

i'm up early - 9:30 this morning for a bar meeting. i don't go to work until 1:30. thought about getting off the ship but we have to tender in at this port so it'd be kinda pointless. i'll wait until tomorrow. i don't have to work until 9:30.

apparently james is, in fact, alive. at least some person with a voice like his called me and left a message.

tom called, too. from the roof in piney point. he was freezing, he said. obviously the roof is the only place where he gets reception. he's bartending. volunteered to teach how to open a bottle of wine/champagne. he has a week and a half left.

i'm bored.

does santa come to ships?

we had country night last night in the crew bar. reminded me of hoe down's. made me miss it. and the hot people there, too. speaking of which, i heard that a certain someone has lost a bit of weight and someone was kissing my cowboy. i hear things. even here. oh well.

you know what i miss? the amorettes. i'd love to see mary and her dildo right now. haha. random, i know. but she's so freakin' hilarious.

merry christmas. yeah, it's 80 degrees outside but so what?

i have a plan up my sleeve. i'm evil.

i was propositioned by a guest last night. was quite funny.

i'm looking for some glasses again. i wore a pair a friend had. i liked them as did everyone else. a straight guy -- a very good-looking straight guy -- told me when i walked in the bar that if he were gay, he'd &@*! me. i told him, no. if he were gay, i'd &@*! him. ha. haha. hahahaha.

whoa. i have so many random thoughts. i'm crazy. no, i'm bored.

i wonder what i'm gonna do when i get home. i have no vehicle. maybe get a rent-a-car for the month. if i decide to come back, which is likely. where am i going to visit?

hmmm... which way did he go, george? which way did he go?

do you know that i am wasting ten cents a minute typing this random shit?

it's fun, though.

yeah.

wonder what's on t.v.?

are you really still reading this?

you have no life. get off the computer! ha. haha. hahahahah.

apparently, i'm dead.

we have drills each week... and with each, there is a scenario of an emergency. this week it was a fire and it was outside my cabin. the halls were filled with smoke from a fog machine.

i learned that when i was going to my emergency station after the alarms were sounded. apparently, though, i died because i should have gone back into my cabin and called 911. the fact that i picked up and carried a girl up a flight of stairs who, according to her scenario card, had passed out due to smoke inhalation didn't count.

oh well.

the coast guard will be onboard tomorrow and tuesday doing these same things. just like the faa being aboard planes. should be fun. with the pasenger drill yesterday, this today and one monday and tuesday, we should know what is going on. we'll see.

i just hate that all this is happening on my time off. i could be laying out or something.

hmmm... i think i'm about to eat. i have no clue what they have out there today. i need to eat ten times a day because four is apparently not enough. i've lost five pounds. actually, it's only two since i had intitially gained seven... ugh. i hate fat people.

i'm off almost all day tomorrow, so i think i'm going surfing. i have to put the last touches on the newsletter before it's complete. i'm going to attempt to scan/upload it so that all can see it. i'm rather proud of it. it's turning out very nice...

i'm starving. this'll have to wait.

my christmas wish list

alright, alright, already! here's what i want for christmas!

i'm a procrastinator, i know. but try getting ready for christmas in ninety degree weather. it's not conducive, folks.

since i'm on the ship and live in close quarters, there's not a lot i need or can have. so, i've compiled the following list of toiletries and things i like to eat or can use.

of course, there is no obligation. however, if you don't get me something, you better hide when i get back to the mainland... ; )

• Gillette M3 Power Blade Refills
• Garnier Fructise Shampoo/Conditioner (Where's my Garnier Fructise, Leslee?)
• Gillette Deodorant Gel
• Crest Whitening Toothpaste
• Magnets/Magnetic Hooks (My walls are steel and I can't use tape.)
• Batteries (AA, AAA) (They're for my flashlight and toothbrush...)
• Socks (White footies, black dress socks)
• White undershirts (Small)
• Polos
• Tees
• Food! (Christine got me hooked on Double-Stuffed Oreos... Also, Pringles, Doritos, Milky Ways, Snickers, Three Musketeers, Cheese Crackers, Cheese in a can, Ritz, -- I'm making myself hungry! Just send snack food or someone dies!
• Or... if you really want to spoil me... www.hollisterco.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/GiftCardDisplay?storeId=10251&catalogId=10201&langId=-1

other than those things, i can't think of anything else. you can send whatever you want provided it'll fit in my cabin. it's not too small but keep in mind i have two roommates.

in case you don't have it, my address is:

mathew r. palmer :: bar deparment :: pride of america :: c/o ncl america 700 bishop street :: suite 900 :: honolulu, hawaii :: 96813

i do not receive mail until saturday so if you send something slightly perishable, (like homemade banana nut bread or sausage balls) guarantee it's delivery for friday.

thanks, again, to all of you. this has taken a leap of faith and confidence to be here but it's your support and friendship that make it possible. mushy, but i mean it.

i love when it's saturday!

that's the mail call here, which means gifts, cards and letters... so, to thank (informally), those of you who thought of me, thanks jennifer, amy and tom.

the card was sweet jenn. it is different out here and you would love my job!

amy... thanks for all the magnets. although i moved rooms, the smoking magnet will come in handy. cute. the others were, too, and the strip is awesome. i've already hung it and put pictures on it.

and, a very clever gift from tom, which will constantly remind me of home: a calendar with pics of my friends. joshua is mr. january, which is fitting. it'll be this month the he hits the three month mark of something no less than spectacular!

wendell, jamie, yonnathan, kelley, tim, christine, richard and even mary edith pitts grace the other months. certainly something i'll enjoy!

speaking of friends, whatever happened to that person james who i called a friend? is he still alive?

on to other things... i'm beginning my fifth cruise today! hard to believe. only fifteen to go. this past cruise was especially fun because i made 'friends' with many of the passengers. there was one extraordinarily friendly group of passengers... beth, treva, dancer, prancer and vibrator. ha. ask me about them... to give you a hint, 'dancer' was pole dancing at the pool the first night last week! and anyone who asks you to call them vibrator, well... yeah. she called me t-one.

i'm having a blast. moving inside to hollywood theatre for the next two weeks. i've also been selected to do beverage service in the liberty restaurant, one of two of the main dining rooms. basically, i'll be servicing the tables with alcohol as they dine as to relieve the over-worked and under-staffed servers. should be interesting.

the best thing, i'm assuming, is that i'll be able to watch all the on-board entertainment. should be fun.

also... it means i should be able to call you guys more because i'll be working at night when you're in the bed and be 0ff -- and laying in the sun or surfing -- while you're at work. sucks for you!

anyway, point is, i'll call more often.

feeling philosophical...

you guys have to meet justin, my best friend here on the ship... he's the one that i went through training with. we were roommates in maryland and he was able to move into my room on the ship.

we were talking today about our 'stories;' how we got onto the ship. while they're much different, they're so much the same. it's almost like we're all misfits in one way or another.

i don't mean that in a bad way (of course) but it's true. there seems to be something lacking in each of our lives or something we want to change. so much more than a job this is to us. it's an opportunity to some, therapy to others.

passengers are amazed by us... the whole crew. this week probably has been the best week as far as guest satisfaction. they're happy and they show it. they also point out that they see we're happy and that we get along. of course, they see the few who aren't and point out that, too.

i'm doing really well on the ship. being appointed editor of the newsletter has been awesome. it's a sense of responsibility and accomplishment all at once. so many people know me and talk to me about things. co-workers come to me for advice, just like my friends.

i'm happy with all this. the food and beverage director, onboard less than a week, came up to me today and told me n.c.l. needed more people like me onboard. how cool?

it's nice to be noticed. it's nice to have a job were you want to go to work. it's nice to have the group of friends around me that make me laugh, smile and -- sometimes -- forget about all that's going on back home.

i'm not running and this won't be forever. if things continue as they're progressing currently, i will return.

however, this experience is helping me learn so much. my self-esteem, which wasn't too bad, has been boosted. my confidence in myself and my abilities are better. my friends back home have yet to disappoint me because each one of them has been in contact. (there are some exceptions, thus i know they were not friends...)

i hate that i'm here when i want to call people. i need to call so many people yet when i work, i can't and when i'm off, you guys are asleep. i'll get around to it, i sware.

the situation with tom is still progressing. he's in piney point and told me via a voice message earlier this week that the bar there is the 'cruisiest place' he's ever been. he's 'being hit on left and right.'

all the people are fantastic, he says. and, jennifer, he said he plans to teach a class on stalking. i don't know if it's a how-to or how-to-identify. it's supposed to start next week; he said he did the orientation this week. i'm not certain if he was joking.

on that note, i guess if tom is coming, you all should apply. why not move the whole state here? that'll accomplish everything i wanted by coming five time zones away!

the newsletter is almost complete. i have several submissions that i put in today. the photog department gave me the art for the masthead last night, which looks awesome. it's neat to think i'm starting something new for this ship that, if successful, will carry on to every ship in the fleet, including international.

we're called team america here on the ship. once i get the first copy of the americana, i plan to send it to post properties to show them what a team player i am. single-handedly organized, named, layed-out and manage a newsletter for a whole crew. they lost what could have been an asset.

i dreamed last night that i got into a fight with gertrude. it seemed so real. of course, it was more of a nightmare. is she even still alive?

it started out with my being at my mom's house (unlikely...). we were about to eat dinner but my mom had not finished cooking. it's always been a pet peeve of my mom's to eat before she's finished cooking but somehow i was always excused from that rule (she used to be nice).

anyway, i think gertrude said something to me about eating when i went off on her that she had a house and food and money and that if she had a problem, she could go there with no worries of me intruding on her cooking.

she got mad and slapped me. ha.

ordinarily, i do not hit women. however, she's a bitch so it doesn't count.

i slapped her so hard her glasses flew from her face and into the very pot i had eaten from. my mom laughed and so did dave, who was there for some reason.

time flew as gertrude called charles to tell him that i had slapped her. he ran in believing he was going to punch me when i through the pot of potatoes in his face and kicked him in his nuts.

weird, huh?

alright... i'm wasting time. i'm supposed to be at 'the safety meeting' in the crew bar with the rest of the omicron-delta-beta staff (our co-ed fraternity... kids.). ha.

i'm having fun. y'all take care.

aloha.

believe me, i am doing awesome!

some of you have expressed concern over my last post. as i have already via e-mail, let me assure you: i am doing great. it's no less shocking but my family's actions i've come to expect.

a very pleasant surprise today... thanks, christine! she sent me a very hefty care package complete with homemade chocolate chip cookies, doritos, candy... even some cute boxer shorts. loved the shirt, too. i'll protect 'em. haha.

i ventured out today in honolulu. went to the mall where i hit hollister, american eagle and abercrombie. only did less than two-hundred dollars in damage. being the thrifty shopper i am, i got several nice shirts, a belt, a wool shirt and some jeans. i saw more but didn't spend the money.

speaking of clothes, i'm working on my christmas wish list. maybe i'll post it in a day or two. to be honest, it'll be mainly practical things... toilitries and such. maybe gift cards to hollister. definitely gift cards to hollister. have to go back for those jeans.

i need to go work on the newsletter.

aloha.

newsletter is coming along well...

i am so excited about the newsletter i've been asked to spearhead. several of my teammates (yeah, post, i'm a team player) have been more than excited about helping and are contributing some great things, including an advice column, art, articles, jokes, poetry... it's gonna be fun.

i did much of the formatting tonight. took me about three hours to get half of it done. i'm working through microsoft publisher, which i'm not familiar with but is an awesome program. i'll have to mail copies to you if you want to see my creation.

work is still going well although i'm ready to change bars. as nice as it is being poolside, i'm ready for something different. after this cruise, i'll be in another bar so no worries...

can you believe this will be my fourth cruise and the end to my first month onboard? hard, huh? it is for me. that means only four more months to go.

on one hand, i'm excited that it's going fast (means i'll be home sooner) while at the same time, time is flying by (which means i better start taking better advantage of the sights, etc.).

i'm gonna go... i don't have to be at work until two so i'm gonna go to bed. that way i'll be well rested in the morning in honolulu so i can go to the mall and buy some clothes.

aloha.

so, blood is thicker than water, huh?

no friend of mine would ever desert me nor do the things that my mother and her husdand have done. i'll leave it at that as far as what i am talking about but i will expand on how i feel.

it has been almost two years since i talked to my mother. i have heard her voice but it has only been voice messages on my phone, normally in a very evil tone warning me to pay my car note, etc.

as if she had a straw, she drew the last one today. i have no use for her whatsoever and consider her the worst failure as a mother that this earth has ever seen. anyone who can choose a man such as her husband over a child who begs for her love deserves nothing but heartache. i hate to admit this but i hope that's exactly what she is getting.

i've had it long enough. it's time it truly passes to her.

on a better note, the situation as it is now gives me great pleasure. pleasure as in i am so thankful that i have been through ever valley god has lead me. without them, i'd be another mathew in the world.

however, i have come to appreciate my friends as family. there's so many that'd do anything in the world for me that i cannot begin to name them as i would surely leave someone out. you all know who you are, though, and i am so thankful.

having said that, please understand when i say i love you and i consider you my family, it is no joke. those that are related to me by blood, my mother, namely, have long since given up on me. they have long since discounted my worth in their life and have continued on the twisted path they consider happiness.

it is on a long and winding road that i travel and it's you, my friends, who welcome me when the rain pours or hazards block the way. it is you and the memories and thoughts of seeing you brighten my day. i love and cherish each one of you.

christmas is coming soon... being in hawaii is not helping things as it is extremely difficult to be in the mood when the weather is so hot. nonetheless, in the spirit of christmas, i truly hope that love shines down and conquers all the bitterness around me.

it is my hope that people will realize that i am not a late car payment... i am a person and i have feelings.

god bless each and every one of you... even my sorry ass mother.

my response to tom's coming to hawaii...

i knew that things would come to this point. i just, like always, tried to be diplomatic about things. before i say anything, i've included the e-mail i sent to tom upon his telling me that he was going to be applying for work on this ship. it follows.

Date: Tue, 15 Nov 2005 12:39:37 -0800 (PST)
From: "Mathew Palmer"
Subject: RE:
To: "Tom Biederman"

tom... i've been thinking about this before i responded to you. i'm not sure what to think, still.

at what point did you decide you wanted to work on a cruise ship as well? and why ncla?

we've had this conversation before and i can't help but to think the same thing now: it seems you're a little too interested in doing and enjoying the same things i enjoy.

not to re-hash things but there was the issue of the suv and other things. now that i've made a decision to try this, you do, too.

i don't intend to be rude but it almost feels as if you're stealing this experience from me. i hope that you do not take that in the wrong way.

perhaps if you're looking for adventure, you might look there in atlanta first, then try something overwhelming. to be honest, besides the eye candy you mentioned, i do not think there will be much more to interest you on the ship.

for instance, work hours are going to be long, which will require you to be awake! also, training is not easy at all. those who are here and share your position wake at four a.m. and work throughout the day, only getting breaks for meals.

this would be a fun and interesting thing for anyone. however, it is my hope that you back off of this opportunity and allow me to enjoy it while finding your own adventure.

i'll talk to you by phone more... i have to run.

one t

as i wrote directly to him, i'm not certain when his thoughts occurred and a decision was made to apply for this job. it's a fact that he did not apply until after i arrived here. in fact, tom was not well aware of the duties of the position in which he applied.

i chose to come to this job for several reasons, none real major. however, one of the main issues is to be away from things -- atlanta, friends, stress, etc. -- so that i could attempt to have a more clear head about what i wanted in life. i want to be here to regroup.

i've tried to do that so many times in atlanta... in albany... in statesboro. it's just hard to do when you're surrounded by the very things you want to change.

there are many people i miss in atlanta... sale city... hell, all over the country. however, there's no one that i want on the ship with me right now. i can't stop tom but honestly do not want him on this ship. should he make it through training and into hawaii, it is my hope that he is on the aloha.

i've handled this as well as possible, trying to take into account his feelings and not be 'greedy'. after all, i cannot prohibit someone from applying for a job.

i can, however, question why one would apply for this, a very unigue job. especially when the pay is as low --- not bad, mind you --- when compared to tom's financial status.

as far as the cancer you mentioned, tom, that's the first i've heard. i am truly sorry if you are suffering. however, as i mentioned in my first e-mail to you more than a week ago, i encourage you to try something closer to atlanta, as i have several times before.

this is my experience and thus far it's the best of my life. things here couldn't be better.

perhaps you two should talk face-to-face to settle your differences if you so desire. i know that many times we pass and re-pass without saying things that we really mean. that's a good thing most times but then there always these times when things come to a head and cause hard feelings.

i hope tom chooses the right thing. if this is something he's always wanted to do or even just decided to do, i hope that he'll rethink his decision and at least give me the courtesy of remaining alone on this ship and going to the aloha. having been here and through training, i know that's not entirely possible...

the bottom line is there are plenty of ships in the sea.

i'm sore.

my left arm is killing me. i don't know what i did. maybe it's from the pool the other night, too. my eye is turning darker and has become the topic of every passenger-mathew conversation.

i'm almost getting bored... we've been in port the past two days so there are no passengers at the pool. well, there are, but not many. and those that are belong at shady pines. one more week, though, and i'll be changing bars... not sure which one, yet.

we'll be putting together the first newsletter this weekend. i've gotten a lot of people who are interested in helping, which is awesome. i went out on a whim to suggest eight pages instead of four. now i know that i can fill that space. even if not, i can throw together some crazy shit... something. maybe i'll get a pay raise?

i had an awesome conversation last night from someone back home. it's amazing how time plays a role in life. fate is amazing, too. i'm not jumping to conclusions or predicting anything. however, isn't it interesting when you meet someone who could be 'right' for you yet the timing is off only to meet/talk to them later? it's like a second chance, sort of. who knows?

did i mention tom is leaving for piney point on friday? yep. starts training then. i hear that it's snowing there and they're all snowed in. sorry. it's eighty-something here.

my bar manager let me know that i was mentioned by a guest in one of the comment cards last week for excellent service... go me.

hmmm... oh! what the hell is going on with a tornado in sylvester in december? freaky.

and what about the psychotic man that was killed in miami today? i need to call steve to make sure he wasn't involved or, if he was, make sure he's alright. i hope that he wasn't. that's a lot, imagine, to have on your conscience.

the really weird thing about being on the ship is that you are so deserted from the world and its happenings. we have cnn, tbs, espn and something else. that's it besides crew channels, which basically play the prior days events and safety videos as well as commercials for shore excursions, etc. not too exciting. besides, i'm hardly ever in my room to see it. i catch a glimpse in the crew mess from time-to-time.

i need - or want - a cigarette. this is all for now.

aloha

i have a black eye...

ha. it's not that bad but it's a shiner, nonetheless.

ya see, last night was 'crazy hat party' for the crew at the waikiki bar upstairs. it's a much better atmosphere than the crew bar, which is on deck four and is smokeless with a very short ceiling.

anyway, with my fruit basket atop my head, i made my way down route 66 to people loving my creativeness, up the stairs to deck twelve and outside to the bar. it was a hit. people loved it.

then the wind blew the damn fruit right out of the towel i had it poorly secured into.

so... back to crew mess for toothpicks then into the bathroom to fix my 'do'. it worked for about another hour until the d.j. pumped up the music and the rocking of my head coupled with the wind destroyed my fruitopia yet again.

there was a three drink maximum. however, since i work in the bar, i may not have stuck to that 'rule'. in fact, many of us who work in the bar may not have. i say that, assuming, because about twenty of us ended up in the pool.

yep. in the pool. i had sense enough to pull out my cigarettes and phone but jumped right in with my jeans and belt on. we did cannon balls, lap dances, booty-shakin', and then... someone (it may have been me) decided we should play chicken.

that's when it happened.

whatever girl was on my shoulder and ashley, the girl on brett's, tied up and were hanging in for the game. however, some idiot decides he'd pull us over. brett and i head-butted each other; his head into my eye and my head into his lip.

fun times. just one of the two parties they've thrown in the three weeks i've been here... college, anyone?

work is still going wonderful. have some fun people on this week from high point, north carolina. they're a riot. and several old ladies, i think i've mentioned them, are still following me around and flirting. ha.

i'm about to go lay out. i think it's in the high eighties here. sun is beautiful.

aloha.

now i know what christmas in july should feel like...

ever been to the watermelon festival? better yet, a fourth of july celebration. sure you have. now imagine christmas trees and jingles playing in the background. that's how i feel.

we have a talking santa in crew mess and christmas trees throughout the ship. carols play on the overhead while the sun beams down like arcs of fire. the breeze, barely cool, is the only thing reminscent of what i have known christmas to be.

so... to get called to the office today to pick up mail, which turned out to be two christmas cards, was an absolute shock. so weird.

kinda makes me sentimental and honestly has to be the first time i've missed 'home'. i've missed my friends since the day i left but realized today that this won't be just an overnight in new york like last year but a whole season and five time zones away.

i can do it. they're not replacements by any means but the friends i've made on here will surely keep me happy and make me feel at 'home'.

so... on to other things. we're about to sail away for hilo. tonight is the night that we view the volcano. it's so spectacular. i mentioned in a previous post our visit to the national park, which is on the opposite side of the island. or, kinda in the middle, i guess.

anyway, from the sea the view is just as magnificent. lava is creeping down the side of the gigantic volcano reminding you of a freshly put-out wildfire. then there's this one spot near the water where the lava flows from a tube as opposed to flowing from the top... as it pours into the ocean, steam and smoke rise making for a fabulous show.

because of all that, tonight is the night that i work late... i'll be off by eleven. ha. normally i'm off by eight. i am still at the ocean drive bar by the south beach pool up on the eleventh deck.

am i rubbing this in too much?

it's amazing how many people from georgia and the south are on board. my accent, which i was supposed to lose - and had while at walb - and my hair get me into more conversations and compliments than anything. oh, and my eyes sometimes. as if i needed a bigger head.

there are some passengers on this week for their fifty-fifth high school reunion. surprisingly, they're still mobile. sorry. anyway, they asked last night for popcorn... showed them. then coffee... showed them. then ice cream... remember, i work in the bar. showed them anyway. then they wanted food. so, i showed them to the diner. they asked me to stay and eat. then they asked if i could be requested to dance with them. funny old ladies. made me smile.

little things like thing coupled with the beauty of the island and so many other things are making this even more of an experience than i ever imagined. honestly, i thought it'd be like working in a bar on land with young people dancing and drinking their stomachs away. while that's onboard as well, it's so much more. each family on here is celebrating something whether a birthday, anniversary or just relaxing... and they're happy to be here.

it must be contagious.

my address...

for those of you keeping up with me via my journal, here's my address. it's easier to post it here because, first, i can't remember it all yet and it's easier to send you here. ; )

mathew r. palmer
bar deparment
pride of america
c/o ncl america
700 bishop street, suite 900
honolulu, hawaii 96813

keep in mind we only receive mail on saturday when we're in port in honolulu. it's alright to mail both packages and letters/cards to this address.

if i don't have your mailing address and you're reading this, please e-mail it to me at mathew@mathewwithonet.net.

going back to the bar by the pool... what a life!

aloha

what day is it, again?

ha. time stand still yets passes like a thief in the night. you greet guests on saturday and wonder why they're leaving so soon the following friday. it's quite amazing at the quazi-friendships you make on the ship with some people. i find myself looking for those that were on the first cruise...

speaking of which, tomorrow begins my third. i only have twenty. weird, huh? it is to me.

this damn boat is rocking side-to-side. not violently but as i type my body is like the v-8 guy. i swear. ha. it's funny. you should see us walking down route 66. how it is they decide who is drunk and those that are simply walking is beyond me.

i'm so pissed that i don't have a laptop to e-mail pictures. i've taken so many and been given others. i want everyone to see my 'office'. no matter where you are, mine is better. na-na, boo-boo!!!

conversations on the ship are so interesting. at times, it's like you're back in college. others high school. then sometimes it seems as if you're sitting at the family table. interesting.

i worked my ass off today... sold almost $500, which was the highest in our bar; eleven percent of total sales. go me.

normally we transfer bars every two weeks but i've been selected to remain in ocean drive by the pool to train the three 'newbies'. doing well, i am.

i may get off the ship in the morning to meet a friend-of-a-friend. not quite sure yet. the phone has bad reception out here where only whales mate. where is the 'can you hear me now' guy when one needs him? more about that only if you're privileged.

i moved rooms on saturday, which has made a tremendous difference. more, justin moved in last night. he's a super guy. one of the most intelligent i know. i believe you could ask him the history of sale city and he'd know... very intersting character. and quickly a great a friend.

seems tom has had some setbacks on getting the position with ncl but is fighting through it. when i talked to him it seemed he might give in but i don't think that is the case. apparently, working on a cruise ship is something he says he's always wanted to do...

thanks yonnathan for taking care of my fish!!! (this journal has taken the turn of more a newspaper for me than a journal, sometimes.) i hear - and trust - they're all still alive.

i read about newton, georgia the other day in the usa today. it's was quite weird. seems the husband of the woman who succeeded my aunt as mayor was killed by cops when he shot a gun into the air, then at them. typical baker county for you. that's all i'll say about that.

do you know how weird it is to hear jingle bells while watching people surf, sweating your balls off? (not necessarily together or in that order... haha.) yep. the christmas music started today. serving frozen drinks while it's above ninety and hearing about that fat ass in the red suit. what a life!

i hear that it's real cold in georgia, by the way. HA!

so, to all of you from just me... na-na, boo-boo!

aloha.