i caught a foul ball!

sippin' on beer at joe's and wondering what to do for the rest of a more-than-beautiful day, jack and i decided to go to the braves game. it was the last, after all, of the season that i could get to. it was the next to last anyone could go to since we're not going to the play-offs for the first time since 1990.

so, we bought nosebleeds. thanks to a coupon someone had left at the box office, i quickly pretended it was mine and bought our seats buy-one-get-one-free.

before we walked away, i was already complaining that they weren't good seats. too high. and the beer was a long walk.

the game was a good game until near the end when renteria threw a ball past marcus. marcus had made a stupid error just prior.

anyway... it was a nail-biter and one that i desperately wished we'd win. i didn't - and don't - want the asshole astros in the post-season. if we can't go, neither should they.

and you know my rule... you don't leave until the game is over, no matter what.

so it was no surpise that i was sitting in my seat, leanin' over the rail with my nails in my mouth hoping adam laroche would knock one outta the park.

he was down in the count... swung... and knocked it directly behind home plate into the upper deck where i was sitting (in those terrible seats i had complained about).

as if in slow motin, the ball soared into the sky, arched and began to come down. i was dangerously close to the rail already, leanin' over in nervousness and anticipation.

i stood... keeping my eye on the ball and took a step back waiting for it to plunge into the seats. i would love to lie and say i caught it bare-handed with just one hand. but, nah, i didn't.

i dropped it but it rolled right between my feet where on the way down i locked eyes with about a four-year-old girl.

*#@k her. it was my thought as i snatched it up and ashamedly showed it to jack and the surrounding fans who were cheering (for what... i don't know).

dont' hate me. wendell said the same thing about the girl and so did jack.

anyway... on the next pitch, adam swung and missed. the braves lost. but i got a game ball, which has never happened and i am absolutely effin stoked.

what girl?

top o' the mornin' to ya.

so my irish roots are coming out. (so are my grey ones...) sue me. and i know it's not morning. it's 2:24 and i'm eating chic-fil-a. speaking of which, the guy who waited on me was oh-way-so-obviously gay. explain that one.

anyway... my manager at work needed to move a television so i asked tim to borrow a truck, which he did. (thanks SO much, tim.) while i was at the dealership, i looked at the cars he had. i was stuck on a truck (haha, that rhymed) but changed my mind when i saw a bmw and a volvo. i'm not a brand whore - i'm really not - but they both caught my attention.

the bmw is out of my price range but the volvo is just below my maximum. so, i asked to test drive it... (tim, i didn't have time to tell you but i got lost. sorry.) i'm in love with it. it's a 2002 volvo s60 t5. just 62k miles. leather seats. sunroof. automatic. power everything. black, which meets my requirement of not-another white vehicle.

we're gonna talk about it later today... perhaps i'll be in a new car soon. yay me! if not that one, some car. soon. but i really like that one.

oh... i'm taking donations. mail them to me or send me an email at mathewneedsmoneyforanewcar@mathewwithonet.net.

in other business, i'm bored.

i have to be at work at five and have no clue what i will wear. i think i should probably run lines with myself, too. not sure what scenes we're shooting this weekend.

hmmm. strawberry milkshakes from chic-fil-a are oh-so-tasty. yeah. it's melting. i gotta go.

my friend, dave, says...

where are you going, with your long face pulling down? don't hide away, like an ocean that you can't see but you can smell... and the sound of waves crash down

i am no superman. i have no reasons for you. i am no hero, aww that's for sure.

but i do know one thing: is where you are is where i belong. i do know, where you go, is where i wanna be.

where are you going? where do you go? are you lookin' for answers to questions under the stars? well if along the way you are growin weary, you can rest with me; until a brighter day, you're ok.

tell me where are you going? where? let's go.

becoming asexual, by mathew palmer

it's my new book, coming at some point. i feel that might be something i can't fuck up. but i'd probably complain to myself that i wasn't hitting the right spot or i was being too rough or something.

hmmm... i still haven't done laundry but i sware i'm starting it after i finish this post. i'll have plenty of free time. don't have to go to work until five today. not going out. then don't have to be back at work again until five wednesday.

had my first shift yesterday as lead/opening greeter. was a breeze. worked until nine, though, which wasn't too cool. especially since bryen was waiting since eight.

we ate burger king and watched finding nemo before having a tell-all before bed. as much as i hated -- for several reasons -- what i was hearing, i needed to hear it. wow.

i told him, and i believe - i really do, that god has me in some fucking experimental test-your-patience and snatch all you like and love out from under you lab rat type thingie. who knows?

that's where the asexual thing comes in. i can imagine whomever i want in whatever compromising position i want and make them shut up when i say so... should be fun.

don't expect the book too soon, though. i'm doing laundry.

ugh.

why is it that i have to be mad or upset to clean? whatever the reason, it's a good thing in the words of my pal martha stewart. i am beginning to do laundry, which hasn't been done in forever. my tub is literally filled with towels.

i changed daniels water. poor fish was about to drown in a pool of water reminiscent of the bat cave. he's happy now.

i really don't hate boys like i said. i love them. i want one. but i'm tired of being hurt. really fucking disgusted with being hurt.

why is it that i like and love so easily and they just can dispose of their emotions like a ragged tee shirt... what am i doing wrong?

i really don't want to be the jaded, bitter queen no one wants to be around. i hate those. but i'm slowly becoming one. i have to remind myself that the next guy isn't the last although the qualities are almost like a mirror to the one before. they deserve a chance, some credit, right?

my mood is just blah today. not really a bad mood. certainly not good but just somewhere in a vortex in between.

i need to shower. i have to shave. i'm hungry. maybe there is something to do? i wish it was a bit warmer... i'd go to the pool.

i need to get out of town but i have absolutely no free time until this movie thing is done. i'm working five days and have shoots on the weekend (not that i'm complaining; i'm totally stoked about it and having a blast.).

speaking of work... i'm transferring to be lead greeter at ecco. i may still wait tables once-in-a-while but the door offers less hours, less work and more (consistent) money. it can't be a bad thing.

once i do have some free time, i'm going to be volunteering at the center for visually impaired. i got the information way back when but never turned it in. a guest at ecco the other night turned out to be the executive director and she told me to get it to her so she could put me to work... so, i am. that'll help my mood, too. it always feels good to help others.

weirdly, i feel a bit better. and the laundry is calling. gotta run.

i really do hate guys.

no, i don't. but i do. sometimes. my track record just isn't gettin' any better. about the only thing i can accomplish is a one-night stand and it seems i can even fuck those up.

i got off a little early from work last night; it was a very weird friday. tim and casey were on their way from the brad paisley concert so they picked me up to go out. we went to hoe downs but it didn't seem anyone was there so we went over to burkhart's. not really anyone there, either so we went to amsterdam. after a few minutes there we went back to burkhart's.

bryen also met us at amsterdam. and went to burkhart's afterwards. not sure what he did after that.

turns out i don't have any shoots today so i'm gonna change daniel's water and do laundry. then i may go talk to buddha or god or some psychic and figure out what i've done.

first day of shooting over!

hurry-up and wait. that's the best way i describe film. very fun, but lots o' down time. lots of cigarettes to stay awake (yeah, i started back...). four large pizzas to feed the cast and crew. a broken glass. broken picture frame. several laughs for the blooper reel. halloween costumes. wow.

we shot one of the most important scenes yesterday. it's a scene involving frank, ben and will. we stop by his house on the way out for halloween. it took about an hour in make-up and about two to film the scene, which is only about a minute long. pretty intense.

zack hudson, a reporter from southern voice (and another albany, ga native) was on the set to interview the directors about the film for their upcoming edition so make sure you pick up a copy.

so, today i'm doing nothing really. all my scenes were rescheduled. jack and i are going to dinner. i think i may go try to watch brokeback mountain. i have several times but i've been interrupted by the roommates boyfriend and a gaggle of gays each time. ugh.

hmmm... i hate that i can't say more about the movie. damn nondisclose agreements.

jeff's engaged!

jeff's gettin' married! awww. too bad for you and me christine. damnit.

anyway, he deserves it. after all, he and catie here have been high school sweet hearts for all of about six years... (i'm almost ready for my ten-year reunion)

he proposed to her at the fox in a balcony. silly boy acted like he was lost... dropped to one knee and asked her to marry him.

she's so lucky. and i'm sure he is, too.

awwwww.

first read-through done...

this is gonna be a bit tougher than i thought. more later. i have to get ready for work.

who would you vote for?

am i the only one who thinks that major league baseball's comeback player of the year is sponsored by viagra?

shouldn't be a problem for the braves as five different players are expecting babies...

speaking of braves, jeff's brother came in to ecco to eat the other night.

tired of sharing.

i've been taught to share since the day i got my first toy. i even had to share my matchbox cars with leah, my younger and only sister. they were boys toys. she didn't need to play with 'em. contrary to popular belief, i didn't play with her dolls (except to chop their hair off or dismember them).

no there are life-size boy toys i'm forced to share. they're called men.

now these, like the cars of my youth, come in all shapes and sizes. some are luxury while others are just (sorry tim..) kia's. some come with accesories while others are just stock.

as a child, i wasn't real particular about which car i liked. i wasn't too fond of the hot-rods with the big engines bulging from the hoods. nor was i a fan of the jaguars, and such. i liked 'em all. they had their own little city i built for them, complete with roads and businesses made from rubbish and twigs and all the cool things little boys like to play with.

why can't i do that now? why is it that when boys quit playing in the dirt, they get dirty? doesn't make sense. and put two boys together and it gets muddy, which is where i'm at now.

boys suck. and they smell funny.

i'm beginning to believe that the only way to have a successful boy-boy relationship in this town is to not be here. i need lesbians -- the big bull-dykas -- and only lesbians to take me to a private island not even accessible by boats (once we get there) and bring me the perfect man.

until that happens, i'm tired of sharin'.

another day in the neighborhood

i'm reading through my script to practice... have a bit of it down already. we begin read-throughs soon, then will begin shooting mid-month.

kyle, justin and i went out last night to a dead-blakes and a weird burkharts. stalker and his posse was out and of course right under us. that freak is amazing. when we were in the back bar he stood there. when we moved to the show bar, he followed us there and stood to the side. he's such a puke.

anyway... i need to call wendell. he's gonna kill me but i've tried to call and his cell is dead and it's midnight afterwards and can't call his house... i'm thinking out loud.

hank is at the beach. miss him.

i had a weird dream last night. for some reason i was driving leslee's car, which was a kia. she wasn't with me and for some reason i had to get to their house quickly. i turned into their drive and spun the car around very james-bondish into the parking spot.

when i walked inside, mrs. rhonda was nude in the living room on the couch and mr. vaughn was standing while asleep in front of the tv. shae, their dog, just barked a few times like she normally does and went to get her toy for me. now that i'm thinking back, jennifer's little yappy dog was nowhere around.

then i went to jennifer's room where she was lying in bed playing a video game and had gifts spread over the bed. they were supposed to be for me but she insisted on opening them and keeping them for herself.

then my phone alarm went off.

i have the weirdest dreams ever.

i need to go shave.