oh! about leah.

actually, this post is a private-public post. interesting. most of it is in my head but i think i should share...

christine and i agreed the other night that things happen for a reason. this is but one of them.

i was trying! to take a nap when the phone was vibrating off the table. apparently everyone wanted to talk to me. in my usual style, i just pressed the silent button and turned over only to slip into the last letter of the alphabet over and over and over.

obviously i have many persistent friends as several called many times over.

there were several 229 area codes so i assumed something was up, especially when one was my mom's cell number. it wasn't her: it was leah, my sister. (my blood half-sister)

she and her boyfriend/promise-ring fiancee were in town to see a friend who was in the hospital. she thought i was in still in hawaii. i wasn't so i hopped a cab down to the hilton where she and lee were having a drink and playing pool.

three hours later, i think i'm closer to her than i've ever been. she's turned into such a lady, although she's still a redneck (and i mean that lovingly, i sware). her accent made me smile. made me feel like... i don't know what. it was just a peaceful moment listening to her talk and hearing her twang.

she has -- and i guess i have, too -- grown up. there's not bitterness in her voice. she reminded me over and over how she loves me, no matter what.

that no matter what, though, she says my mom has a problem with. i've always assumed my mom knew i was gay. after all, she found a note i wrote to some phone pal way back when. i denied it, called her the lesbian and we left it that. besides, i was still dating girls at the time so he hopes weren't all shattered.

anyway, my mom, she says, knows i'm gay. in fact, the whole family knows. they want to hear it from me, she said.

hmmmn... i could tell them. but why? i would have already told my mom, but she has not been there for me. why should i share such a major thing with her? she wouldn't accept it anyway, even leah said that. my mom even told leah that.

so what's the point? i have to think on that one.

also, leah said mom told her i'd always be welcome at her home... just never a guy. how fair is that? leah can bring lee... well, i was gonna give examples of my brothers bringing their wives but both of them who were married are divorced now.

anyway... leah knows. she supports me. she loves me. i love and respect her.

it was a nice day. and she's even coming back in a couple weeks. perhaps i'll introduce her to y'all.

wait till you hear her say that.