i can die happy now...

haha. if only i was a redneck, country boy. got the country part. missing the redneck, although i do have a red neck from the sun...

see, what had happened was... wendell, jennifer and i decided to make this weekend, at least a day of it, all about relaxing and not dealing with all the 'folks.' we decided a day at the pond would be better. and it was.

after getting my hair cut and walking around the square in moultrie, where there was a street fair of some sort, wendell and i made our way to his house. jennifer was to meet us but she still had her lazy butt in bed so we had to wait a bit.

now i hadn't been fishin' in a coon's age (i'm using this lingo to make it sound good 'n country). i was genuinely excited. and, of course, jennifer and wendell are two of my best friends in the whole wide world (not to be confused with that internet thingie, the world wide web) and a day with them could be good watching the pines grow.

anyway, jennifer managed to make it outta bed where she said she'd been dreaming that she was already with us... weird. we took the caddy to the pond house and decided to crank the music way up loud. country, of course.

jennifer and i launched the boat, which only had one oar, and made our way to the opposite edge of the pond, which was strewn with clumps of trees and brush. fish certainly were hiding there.

i got a tiny nibble and my hook hung on stumps a couple times. jennifer experienced the same thing as the wind gently coasted us across the otherwise still water. many times we'd have to row, row, row our boat back to the other side where i just knew there were fish.

it was until hours into this trek... imagine me sitting still and being patient that long... that i, yes i, caught the first fish. in the beginning, i believed that i had once again hung the hook on a downed limb beneath the surface. nope. it was a fish this time.

and i was proud. it was a big 'un. could feed... well, me. only me. and i couldn't share.

shortly afterwards, jennifer had to excuse herself back to sale city where she'd celebrate her brothers birthday and hurriedly yet respectfully return to the pond.

mmm-hmmm. she shoulda been there.

what had happened this time was... mmm-hmmm. ole' gimp wendell had made his way into the boat and he and i made the same merry-go-round 'round the pond like jennifer and i. this time, though, the wind was a bit kinder being still and allowing us to float in an area a decent amount of time.

still, it whispered as it carried us into a thicket of sorts near the end of the clear part of the pond and into the area where it becomes more marsh-like. by the way, the day could not have been any more beautiful or pleasant. it was like god had the biggest smile on his face.

we were tiring of being on the water. i was still the only one to had caught a fish despite wendell's having a buffet for the little fishies on three seperate poles. i voiced my boredom, which probably went unheard since wendell had his cell phone plastered to his noggin. typical gay man in the wild. ha.

i cast out into an area - being the expert i am - that i thought would surely produce a catch. boy, did it.

again, i thought i was hooked on a stump or sumpin 'cause i was reelin' and reelin' and reelin' and i just wasn't seeing the line shorten at all. no water moving. no nothing. but i was still reelin'.

wendell began to get excited and clap - i promise - yelling that i had a big one and was like a beauty pageant mother at contest time. oh my. about the time he got cranked up, jaws jumped out of the water. and that's no fish tale (pun intended)! when i saw this fish, i thought it was a shark. why i didn't remember i was in a fresh-water pond in south georgia where sharks do not live, i have no clue. i thought it was a shark. first impressions. they're a bitch.

i'm still reelin' and i hear wendell telling scott he must go to help me get this fish in the boat. remember, he's nursing a gimp leg. (raise the roof, wendell... ya know you wanna). some help he was.

the damn pole broke! jaws broke the rod... i couldn't believe it. but then i had seen it jump from the water.

i do have to admit - and only because i'm giving wendell hell - that i was screaming much like a girl. yeah. i was. haha. had to be there. it was a one-time-only event.

so... wendell is off the phone to help, yet sitting. the pole is broken. jaws is still on the loose.

but that bitch ain't goin' nowhere. i reach down and begin to pull in the fish by the line. screw a reel. (this is very reminiscent of the first time i caught a fish but it was much, much smaller and the pole didn't break... and my brother's were on the dock laughing at me.)

i get this damn fish to the edge of the boat... oh, wendell is helpin' now. he's coaching from his ass!

and, see... the first fish - i named him jeremiah - had tried to snap me when i was taking him from the hook. i'm no girl, i promise, but i'd been finned before and it ain't fun. so, i was cautious.

well, with this bohemoth mouth gaping out of the water, i still saw jaws although by now i realize it's just a bass. adrenaline allowed me to pick the fish up. oh. yeah. i was shaking. forgot about that.

the fish - and although i don't have them up now, i do have pics to prove it - was 21 inches long and weighed nine pounds. i wasn't that long, nor that heavy when i was born!

wendell. oh, you're asking what he's doing at this point? oh. he's practically having a damn baby being so excited! you gotta mount that one, mathew, he told me. mmmm. o.k. and where would i put it? right by? yeah. no.

meanwhile, i've awakened south georgia, or perhaps it was wendell, and hannah, his neice, is out on the porch assuredly believing something was wrong.

in a first... i took pictures, which i promise to post despite it being evidence against me in the country court of law proving - no, suggesting - i might just be a redneck.