ya know, sometimes when you think you have it bad, you realize... no, you don't. and then, sometimes, when you think you are getting everything together, you realize... no, you don't.
so, here i am. i moved out of tom's for reasons i've told those who need to know. despite all, i'm sure the rumor mill will be - or is - churning. so be it. i'm a user, etc. at least that's what's been said. bottom line is tom biederman is out of my life and i'm a fool for allowing him to stay so long. i'm a fool for allowing him to lie to me so many times and come between me and my friends who i was all the while demanding be nice to his sorry ass.
that's enough of that.
i think i have found a roommate... going to vegas to help craig drive only to turn around and come back. wish i had more time to enjoy myself out there. oh well. i'll go back.
just a week and a few days before i start work. i'm excited. not only is it a new restaurant but and upscale one and one with awesome management, at least from first impressions. also, it's only open for dinner so it will allow me to go to school during the day and work at night so as not to conflict with each other. i pray all goes well with school... with all that's happened in the past, i foresee some stumbling block. not a good outlook, i know, but nonetheless... come on.
speaking of stumbling blocks, the dude jason i was talking to turned out to be... i so want to be mean about it but i can't. he was a great guy and i thought he would certainly be someone that would last. unfortunately, after having talked to his exboyfriend, he said he is not over him. once again, back to sqaure one.
where the hell did that square one comment come from? why the hell does it matter and why am i thinking about it?
ugh...
i'm at monte's. we're about to leave for birmingham. he has a show there tonight to open birmingham's rights of spring weekend or something to that effect. should be fun. always is.
i'm gonna check my e-mail and then go fall down the stairs. i'm gonna attempt to walk down but with my luck, i'll fall so i'm being optimistic about pessimistic bullshit. how's that for ya coffee?
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3 comments:
If it's one thing you know how to do, it's get back on your feet. I just finished my first quarter and Monday I start my second. Once you get back in school and feel like things are moving forward again, you'll feel better.
you know, you really owe no explanation to anyone no matter what rumors may fly. but since you have already been accused of "always being the victim" and a “user“, by the perpetrator no less, the FACTS should be posted for any who may not be clear. i hope it is ok with you that i am doing so. the FACTS are that you unknowingly befriended a sexual predator and psycho pervert who needs to be back in that institution he was in before. the facts are that his ideas and scheme for the whole friendship was a TOTAL LIE! his motives, as have been proven by him, were to only get a "return" for what he "claims to have put out". genuine friendship never entered the picture for him. friends help friends and expect nothing in return. a simple thank you is nice to get but not required if the help was given with a free heart to begin with.
i am saddened and sickened that you were exposed to the un-welcomed and unsolicited advances when the truth came out. there will NEVER be an acceptable excuse for molestation attempts or sexual advances. and temporary insanity is out of the question, although quite believable. i have been witness to several conversations where you were explicitly clear of where the alleged friendship stood, never a hint of anything more and certainly never a lead-on in any direction of a relationship beyond friends, to include friends with benefits. just not your style. no way it could have been misinterpreted even by the sickest mind. you are not a fool, just compassionate (did i just say that?) and your friends know the truth. the Bible warns of wolves in sheep clothing. we have all encountered them. truth and good always eventually see them exposed.
**i am also posting to the blog where anonymous was exposed on Tuesday April 11, 2006 since they chose to attack me. i have something i’d like to say about that.
well i have already posted how i feel about Tom in the past and nothing has changed. I am glad Tom never got my email address or phone number so that he could talk to me about him only trying to be mathews "friend" even then i knew it would all be lies. He wined and bitched about how I did not know him and blah, blah, blah. I did not need to know him. I can make up my own mind how I feel about someone by hearing about what they say and what they do and Tom was way over the cuckoos nest. I had to here about his stalking, his reasons for going to hawaii, his cancer, his insane voicemails, there was no changing my mind. I do not let psychos manipulate me. Ok thank is all of that.
Mathew, I cannot believe you are going to give up on Jason just because of something his ex-boyfriend told you. There must be more to it. Call me.
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