new year's 2007...

being as how i haven't posted this until the second day of the year means i have a little work to do. o.k., maybe a lot. one of my top new years resolutions is to not procrastinate as much. i've been sitting here putting off doing this, going downstairs to eat and shower. oh, and call charles back. but i'll get to it... later.

in all seriousness, this is going to be an epic year for me. in the past, i'd read through old journals and realize where i hadn't done things i'd promised myself. in fact, i found an entry where about 75 percent of this years goals were included; that was five years ago. if i cannot keep a promise to myself, what kind of person am i?

many things will change, the hardest is friendships. certain friends provide certain things for you... but certain friends also bring on hardships or ... hmmm. not sure that's the right word but sometimes friends can be baggage. no, they can't. when it gets to that point, it's time to evaluate why they're friends at all or why they've changed over into the unpleasant category.

i don't throw friends away. but i will be distancing myself from those who think they're better than others, better than me, those who are negative nancies, those who don't believe in my wishes and my goals no matter how absurd they are. i will admit here that i will become much more selfish this year. perhaps some believe that isn't possible but it will happen.

i'm not going to tolerate those who embellish the truth around me, either. perhaps things have been negative in my life because i've been swirling around the dump with divers. i have to stay positive or it won't work.

finances are another major area of improvement. i spent almost $5,000 last year in waste. i won't get into the details but almost two grand was at work for food. so many more uses i could have put that to.

i want to move from atlanta and san diego is the number one choice right now. many people have told me no, it won't work, it's not smart, blah, blah, blah. but why the hell not? why do some think they have the right to move on with their pitiful existense in life and i should stay in atlanta because things are kinda calm. why do i need to stay in atlanta just to be close to friends... friends who happen to be very happy. i'm not going to be the convenient friend forever. besides, i've bent over backwards to make people happy all my life and it's time i begin to worry about mathew's emotions, not always others.

i've been way too premiscuous as of late. maybe not way too much but more than i'd like. so, i'm not cutting myself off like i did last year but that's definitely gonna change.

i haven't had a cigarette in more than 24 hours. rachel and rondell at work are also quitting. the manager told us he'd pay for the treatment if we needed the patch, etc. to quit. i don't need it, i think. i'm going to wait to say anyway. if it gets too tough, i'll buy it but not until.

i'm gonna get into the gym... continue my daily bible study... try not to gossip... stay positive... and worry about just me, just today.