a e-mail from my aunt

this is an e-mail my aunt, my mother's sister, sent to me. thought i'd share. my response is under comments.

Mathew,

Someone told me that you were in South Georgia working at the Expo this past week, yet you didn't have the decency to contact your mother. She called me yesterday to ask if I had heard from you and I told her no, and that I didn't expect to. After all, I am the one who sold you the Blazer that cost you so much money in repairs, or at least that's what you told Brannon. It doesn't matter to me how mad you are or what you say about me.

As you and I have discussed many times, there are things in your past that could have been different and better, but you aren't the only one with a not-so-perfect childhood. The problem is that you refuse to let it go. Do you care how your mother felt when someone told her they saw you at the Expo, yet you were too busy to take the time to call or come to see her? And this is the same thing that you did when your grandmother died. Do you think you can sneak into town and no one will see you and tell Kay? Sale City is too small for that much privacy. Where does all this bitterness and resentment come from? I'm no psychologist, but I think a lot of it comes as a result of things you were told as you were growing up by some of the Palmer family. (The settlement check is blood money, welfare money, etc.). The irony is that Kay was always nice to your grandmother and spoke very highly of her. I'm sure that the comments came from your aunts as I can't imagine your grandmother spewing such ridiculous garbage. I can assure you of one thing. Never, ever would Robert think or imply that the $700 a month I received in child support for years should have been handed over to him instead of paying for living expenses, and I can assure you that $700 a month isn't a drop in the bucket compared to what it costs to raise a child. Whether you have one child or five, you still have to feed, clothe and provide shelter for your family, and $700 merely scratches the surface. I've been there and I know.

The position you put your mother in because of the Blazer is unthinkable. Did you really tell Ray Muggridge that you have been sending the payments to her and Charles and that they have been spending the money? If you did, that is a very flimsy excuse as you could have mailed the payments directly to the bank, especially if you thought they were taking the money! I suppose they will have to pay your old parking tickets that you chose to ignore as the law has contacted YOUR MOTHER to pay them or she will lose her driver's license. Just be glad that I didn't co-sign the Blazer note with you because if I were forced to make the payments, I would be the one driving it, and it would be parked in MY YARD. And don't bother to tell me that this is none of my business because Kay discussed it with me, and it is her business.

Here's some unsolicited advice. Take the time to reflect on your life, especially over the past few years, and realize how very unstable things have been. Who's to blame? Not your mother! In all of my years, I've never met another person who has had as many jobs as you. And I can assure you that there have been many times that I have been so fed up with my job that I wanted to walk out, but I didn't. Jumping from job to job to job to job and moving from here to there is not normal behavior, regardless of how you try to justify it. You have issues that need to be resolved or you'll never settle down and be happy (although I'm sure you think you're happy now.)

I am not saying these things to make you mad or hurt you, but saying them because I love you, I love my sister and want you to realize what you're doing before it's too late. Please let the bitterness go, and realize that you are hurting yourself at the same time you're hurting others.


Aunt Betty