sometimes you just have to laugh...

...to keep from crying. i don't know who said that or what they were going through but it can be so true.

the amazing thing is, no matter what you're going through, although it's not guaranteed, there always seems to be tomorrow. there always seems to be that someone or some thing put in your life that you notice is a bit worse off than you.

God has a plan. we just have to stick to it and deal with not understanding sometimes. we have to realize that we aren't going to know what tomorrow brings or even if tomorrow will be ours. in turn, i guess, is where patience, something i wasn't blessed with much of, comes in. patience. be patient.

work is going well and the last two weeks have been just about hell. we were slammed last week -- good money -- with long hours and difficult guests. this week, we're on walker-patrol where we have to pull teeth - no pun intended - to get someone to buy a drink.

on top of that, the bartender i'm working with reminds me so much of my over-confident asshole brother that i want to puke. (i love my brother but this bartender exhibits each one of his bad habits.) i feel like i'm thirteen again and the last kid to be picked at dodge ball. not in the popularity contest but in the fact that i'm doing well and this jerk has a problem with it. i dare say i'm intimidating to him and he's trying to make things difficult.

which is where patience comes in. we're only in bars for two weeks. tonight is my last night with him. after this, i change to the champagne/cigar bar with my favorite bartender... she calls me her o.c.d. bartender. i just saw her and she told me she wants her pantry cleaned. that's what patience does for you. go through hell. then you get a break. God has to be laughing. job has to be relieved it's not him, again.

i've cooled down about the situation back home although i'm still in some state of shock about it all. i don't even know where my fish are...

oh. ford factory sucks, by the way. lindsay is a lying bitch. they're the worst management company ever. don't rent from them nor let anyone you know go there. ever since i have lived there, it has been a comedy of errors and lies and shortcomings. not that i need back-up, but i can provide many residents who believe the same as i.

this, remember, is the same chick who said a child molester who lived in the building was a 'good resident.' as i stated in a post way back when, if that's good, i'd hate to see bad.

i am fighting with velocity kickboxing, still. i haven't been in georgia since october... cancelled my membership in september... and they call in january to ask about a late payment. i called and told them it was supposed to be cancelled, which they agreed, but told me to call their billing outsource. i did but they said i would have to have a hawaiian license to get a refund.

apparently they don't understand i work on a huge fucking ship that floats on the water, thus i don't need a damn driver's license. leslee... perhaps you can work me up a document on this. i told them i am not changing residency since this is a type of 'sub-contracting' work and only for a few months at the time. the chick i talked to was another who checked 'ignorant' on her application in order to get the job.

boy, i'm in rare form today.

actually, i pretty lazy. now that i don't smoke, i just eat. speaking of which, i can again. my mouth is healing well and is to the point to where i can eat harder foods although i haven't graduated to meat yet. i did have pizza earlier. i've fallen in love with the little fruit bowls of peaches... i think i had four in one sitting yesterday.

i can't wait until i can eat my oreos. i have three packs waiting on me. if i soak them in milk long enough and chew with my front teeth - closely resembling a rabbit - it works.

you should hear my coworkers picking on me about my teeth. they're funny. of course, there's been a hundred and one 'south' jokes... oh well, makes them laugh and makes me feel... wait a minute!

hmmm... i just realized i still haven't mailed the macedamia nuts i bought jennifer my first week here. that was seven weeks ago. wow. i'm a procrastinator, i know. wow, seven weeks ago... i'm almost done with my rotation.

oh... i applied for another job. this time, crew activities coordinator. i don't think the chances are high that i'll get it but i think i've explained that the bar is not what it's cracked up to be. just a lot of politics, long, unproductive hours and little money. we're, believe it or not, the lowest paid on the ship. sucks.

oh well, regardless, i'm assuming this is a five month vacation. speaking of which, i have a couple hours before i have to go to work. we're sitting along the coast line where jurassic park was filmed. i think i'm going to roam up to the crew deck and relax. i'm going to need it before this last night with jack-off.

aloha.